I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
