haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
