Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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