She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
