is your mom at the bar?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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