we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
