Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
