we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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