so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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