Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
