i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
