At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
