i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I need moral support for this bender
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
