some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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