Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
