So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
