My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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