i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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