Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
third nipple confirmed
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
