Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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