So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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