I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
