there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize