And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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