this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
