Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
