I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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