help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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