I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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