i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
