Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
