you guys were way drunker than both of me
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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