Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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