i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
