i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
