I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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