THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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