She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
