Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
