he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
