$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
