Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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