You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
