Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
These tits shall not be calmed
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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