rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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