I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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