What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
