i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
