Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Randomize
