Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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