we have officially lost it.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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